Allô Allô, uma retrospectiva... (IV) - Arthur Bostrom

O Officer Crabtree é, sem dúvida umas das personagens mais apreciadas pelos entusiastas do Allô Allô. A personagem interpretada pelo actor Arthur Bostrom, retrata um agente inglês que pensa saber falar francês, e que acaba por fazer uns trocadilhos com a língua inglesa que são de ir às lágrimas.


Eis alguns exemplos (da Wikipédia):

• "Gid Moaning" for "Good Morning" (his catchphrase);
• "I was pissing by the door, when I heard two shats. You are holding in your hand a smoking goon; you are clearly the guilty potty." for "I was passing by the door, when I heard two shots. You are holding in your hand a smoking gun; you are clearly the guilty party.";
• "Do you have the long-distance dick?" for "Do you have the long-distance duck?";
• "And who is peeing for the ponsoir?" for "And who is paying for the pissoire?" after it was damaged by an overriding tank;
• "It is a dick night" for "It is a dark night";
• "Half pissed sox" for "Half past six" ;
• "Will you please stop bonging the bill" for "Will you please stop banging the bell";
• "I have good nose" for "I have good news";
• "I will go out the bock pissage" for "I will go out the back passage";
• "I thonk it would be woose if we all left tin" for "I think it would be wise if we all left town";
• "Too loot, the bummer is already on the wee" for "Too late, the bomber is already on the way";
• "I have a mop if you would like to take a leak" for "I have a map if you would like to take a look";
• "I have the two British earmen in the sill at the poloce station, I will return them to you as soon as pissable" for "I have the two British airmen in the cell at the police station, I will return them to you as soon as possible";
• "Do not weary, Ronnie" for "Do not worry, René";
• "I have come to collect my bersicle - René asks "What bersicle?" - "The bersicle that produces the electrocity for the roodio when you piddle in your wife's mothers' bedroom" for "I have come to collect my bicycle. The bicycle that produces the electricity for the radio when you pedal in your wife's mothers' bedroom";
• She's as possed as a newt" meaning "She's as pissed as a newt" Referring to René's mother-in-law.

One of his only lines that received almost no garbling produced one of his longest laughs:

• "They will take this spinner (spanner) and unscrew their nuts.";
• "I was wonking at you!" for "I was winking at you!";
• "The British Air Farce have dropped their bums on the water works..They have scored a direct hot on the pimps" for "...a direct hit on the pumps";
• "You must get your hands on some girls' knockers" (knickers);
• "There's obviously no piss for the wicked".
• "Can you not see me wanking?" for "Can you not see me winking?"

Segue-se uma pequena biografia do actor (da Wikipédia):

Arthur Bostrom (born 6 January 1955 in Rugby, Warwickshire) is an English actor, most famous for his role as Officer Crabtree, in the long-running BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo!.

Biography

Bostrom attended Lawrence Sheriff School in Rugby, and graduated from St Chad's College, University of Durham. Besides his television career, he acted on the stage regularly, also being a trained life coach. He lived in Manchester for a long time.

Bostrom had a recurrent character in 'Allo 'Allo!, first appearing mid-way through the second series and remaining until the show's finale. Officer Crabtree was played as an idiotic English undercover officer, disguised constantly as a French gendarme during the Second World War. Much of the character's humour derived from his supposed inability to speak good French, which, on an English-language television programme, was represented by ludicrous exaggeration and mispronunciation of ordinary words. For example, "Good Morning" would be pronounced as "Good Moaning!" and, famously, "I was just passing round the corner" would be "I was just pissing roond the corner". Bostrom actually spoke fluent French.^[1] In 2005, Bostrom guest-starred in Dead Man Walking, an audio drama based on the television series Sapphire and Steel. Between December 2007 and January 2008, he continued his pantomime run when he appeared in a production as an ugly sister in Cinderella in Middlesbrough. On 8 January 2008, he appeared in an episode of Big Brother's Big Mouth on E4. He discussed events in the house after introducing the show in the familiar character of Officer Crabtree.

Bostrom appeared (alongside fellow 'Allo 'Allo! alumnus Sam Kelly) in the BBC radio dramatisation of The Good Soldier Švejk by Jaroslav Hasek in November 2008, playing the part of Wendler.